Finding out we were expecting a fourth (another girl to boot) was just the best of the best. It was a mountaintop feeling; a rush of excitement for me to think about adding to our family and rounding out our “team” with two girls/two boys. I was ready to dig out the girl stuff again and of course add some more bows to our already heavy laden bow collection. We even did a gender reveal this time, much to my husband’s chagrin. I laughed at his eye rolls and enjoyed every minute of seeing the beautiful pink explosion out of the reveal cannon. What a thrill!
Pregnancy was beautiful too. Really not all that taxing minus some sore hips. It was complete with light laughter between my hubby and I, thinking about waking up in the middle of the night again and how our “old” selves would manage to do that after being so used to sleep. Haha, we said. We’ll be fine. We’ve done this before.
Each and every pregnancy, I have counted on hubby to come up with names. He’s more picky than I am, you see; so, I have him pick names and I approve or veto them. I think we might be somewhat opposite of most couples on that. I could be wrong. He chose a beautiful name in September of 2022-one that didn’t need a whole lot of discussion. Looking now into my seven month old’s eyes, her name suits her beautifully.
We welcomed our beautiful (there’s that word again) daughter into our family on December 18th, 2022 following a pretty quick and straightforward labor. My water broke in our driveway as we waited at 4 AM for my parents to make the drive over to watch our older three, sleeping soundly in their beds. Since I’ve never had my water break before, we didn’t know what to expect other than potentially having a baby on the way to the hospital. Hubby calls the nursing staff at the hospital and says, “Yeah so we’re about 12 minutes out from you there, and my wife’s water broke. It’s her fourth delivery so it might just be a cannonball situation.” Haha! LOL moment for me. Sure enough, we get there and the nurse says, “Are you the ‘cannonball’ guy?” Our fourth though decided to give mom an hour of waiting for the anesthesiologist thinking I might just get my epidural, only to dash my hopes at the last minute. He comes into our room just a few minutes before she was born. One push and there she was: Our beautiful daughter.
The fact that this sweet pea was born a week before Christmas was her mama’s dream. She was due on the 21st and I was just sure she’d come later and have us sitting in the hospital on Christmas. Not so. I was grateful as we settled into home life with almost a week to spare before Christmas festivities. All was well. All was beautifully calm and “easy”. We enjoyed Christmas with both our families in low key fashion despite some sleepless nights. But again, we’ve done this before. We got this. All is beautifully well.
New Year’s Eve rolls around and we experience the beginning of something that I would not describe initially as beautiful. In fact, this is where the tumultuous comes in.
One day we’re enjoying the peaceful, regular sleep but blessed newborn life, and the next we’re on a rollercoaster ride we’d never “wait in line for” so to speak; a time that felt quite terrifying. A tumultuous trial.
I’ll unpack this in later posts, but for now I just want to say: My dear fourth, I hope you read this someday. I pray you smile when you hear some details on your arrival and I hope you know with every fiber of your being that you are and have always been loved. Your daddy and I, we already see fruit from the tough times surrounding your birth. Your Savior, He is perfect & His peace passes all understanding. May it guard your heart and your mind, dear child. May you come to know how sweet it is to trust Him, whatever comes.