Don’t be your own biggest fan.

I love Paul David Tripp’s insights. He really puts big ideas into “bite size”, clear terms. One such idea I heard from his podcast recently I really felt like sharing. It hit home in my heart today as I work on income tax returns and take a lunch break to write. To refocus. And to stretch a different part of my brain. Good stuff.

Our culture loves to herald the idea that we should care for ourselves. In actuality what is really meant by that is that we should love ourselves. Right? Self love is abundant; shouting at us wherever we turn. I think it’s especially true for moms. There’s this push to care for me first SO THAT I can care for others next; my kids, my husband, on and on. While that may sound good initially, there’s something sneaky and deceptive behind those words. Something that is anti-biblical and really quite harmful to our Christian life.

Paul Tripp put it this way: Don’t be your biggest fan. Meaning, don’t fall for the lie that your needs, your desires, your wellbeing is paramount. If you claim Christ, that cannot be the lens through which you view your entire life. See the thing is: If I come first, then I feel justified in doing anything and everything to meet my own needs, and anyone or anything that gets in the way of that get’s trampled. There’s a dear friend of mine who, while our family was in the midst of fostering an infant girl, said something that has stuck with me since. She said ‘To what extent are you, putting aside yourself, willing to be “wrecked” for the sake of another? WOW. I mean just think of that right? I should be so attentive to the concern of others that I am willing to feel their needs before mine, to see them as higher than I. And really that gets at the crux of the gospel doesn’t it? (And I say all of this knowing that I struggle with this mightily, as I’m sure you do, dear reader. This is far from easy).

Over the past year, as many of you know, I have dealt with repeated, unwanted thought patterns. A big part of that comes from OCD as a result of postpartum issues. I have had internal dialogue with myself where I either “give in” to the thoughts I’m having OR (and these end up being the best days), I confront those thoughts with truth. The truth is that we’re all sinful. Every one of us. We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. We all struggle with wanting to put ourselves on the throne; to make life “all about us.” I’ve come to realize that even anxiety and depression can do this. I can become so self focused, on my own struggles, that I fail to see the big picture. The big picture is that Christ IS on the throne. He is worthy. He has accomplished and secured for us glory already.

So what does that mean for the ‘here and the now’? Our mission and our mandate is clear and simple in a way. If you and I claim Christ, we are to be a people who see ourselves in light of eternity. We are to, as Paul talks about, be longsuffering. There is a world who desperately needs Jesus. And those needs–they are most important. Caring for yourself isn’t wrong. It’s just that your cup shouldn’t be filled by furthering your own selfish desires. Our cups as Christians are full because Christ gives us everything: strength, daily bread, hope, fruits of the spirit, joy. And because we have received grace in abundance, because we have been saved from ourselves so to speak, we can therefore be freed from the endless cycle of selflove. Struggle we will, but be dominated by it we won’t.

“In humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests others” (Phil 2: 3-4).

Don’t be your own biggest fan. Speak truth to yourself. Remind yourself that you are ‘chief of sinners’ who has been rescued by the sinless One Himself. I’m going to commit this ideology to heart (knowing full well I’ll fail often) because I hope to be “wrecked” by the concern and care of another. And that extends to any and all reading this today. I hope that wherever you are and however you’re serving the Lord, you remember you are loved by your Heavenly Father and that He provides all that you’ll ever need.

-Kaeli